Why New Years Resolutions Consistently Fail

As December is coming to a rapid close and the new year count down is about to begin, millions around the world embrace the tradition of setting New Year’s resolutions. This practice, steeped in history and self-reflection, offers a fresh start—a chance to rewrite our personal narratives and envision a brighter future. DON’T DO IT!

Originally, the practice started over 4,000 years ago in Ancient Babylon in a religious festival where promises were made to curry favor with the gods they worshiped.  Then Julius Caesar introduced the Julian calendar in 46 B.C. and designated Jan 1^st as the start of the new year.  Later with the rise of Christianity, New Year’s resolutions took on a moral and spiritual tone (reflecting on past mistakes and resolve to improve in the eyes of God).  And the tradition has continued to evolve over centuries to what we see today (a blend of personal goal setting and development)

The reality remains that only a small fraction of people actually succeed in maintaining these resolutions despite their initial enthusiasm.  Research conducted by the University of Scranton found that only about 8% of people achieve their New Year’s goals. A variety of reasons for failure were listed:

1. Unrealistic Goals
2. Lack of Planning

1. Motivation Declines
2. All-or-Nothing Thinking

So again, I say “Don’t Do it”!  Instead of falling into that trap again, I am going to share with you something that I have found to be so helpful to me over the years.  It is not a one and done, list of aspirations, but it is a process of taking the time to set the priorities for your life and holding yourself accountable by keeping them front and center.

First Step: Build a Tolerations List

Get still and someplace quiet and write down a list of 50 things that you have “tolerated” and is not your best choice.  These can be things that you have been meaning to get around to but just still remain undone.  It can be as simple as cleaning out the trunk of your car, or as lofty as going back to school to finish that degree.  Just do a mental dump of things undone (and don’t stop until you get to 50).  Then once you get to 50, go back and highlight the priority ones that you want to tackle first and commit to clearing out a couple each week.

Second Step: Build Your Best Life List

This is where you will list out the following categories of the different facets of your life and set aspirations for yourself.  Start with these 10 categories and give yourself up to 10 goals in each one.  The categories are: Health, Spiritual, Family, Personal Development, Business/Professional, Finances, Community, Character, Emotional, Legacy

Once you list out the categories, just go into your own personal brainstorming session of the things that you can dream of accomplishing in each area (give yourself space for up to 10 items under each category).  Don’t limit yourself, this is the time to use your imagination (you don’t have to know the details of HOW the universe is going to bring it to you).  Planning comes later.  You will be surprised the things that come up to your consciousness when you give yourself permission to dream again. 

Once you have done these two steps, know that they are not finished, it is just the beginning.  Things will get added onto the lists and taken off the lists as you continue to accomplish or reassess your personal priorities. 

Here is where the magic happens (not in the making of these lists – but in the attention you place on them).  Pick your best time (first thing in the morning or last thing at night before you go to bed) and read through what you wrote.  As you find out ways to eliminate things off of your Tolerations List – you will be so pleased with your own personal momentum in clearing out the clutter in your life and keeping promises to yourself.  Soon in a matter of weeks you will see that list of 50 items drop down to 40, then 30, then 20 or less and it’s all a win.

And each day you look at your Best Life List, you are able to see the things that bring you joy and you can start to strategize on how you want your relationships with yourself and the people around you to be.  You start being intentional about scheduling quality time, vacation time, recreation activity, giving back to your community and being good to yourself.  This is where you feed positive things into your Best Life so that you do not live in resentment giving away everything to others first and feeling unsatisfied.

This is a practice I do from a fresh clean slate twice a year, and I walk through it in my daily journal as a practice each morning during my quiet time. I haven’t set New Year’s Resolutions in over 20 years once I discovered this practice.  I wanted to share it with you today.  Try it and let me know how you like it.

Down with New Year’s Resolutions and it’s all about your Best Life!